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On The Wet Coast: The Podcast

Welcome to On The Wet Coast, a blog & podcast about sexuality and ethical non-monogamy of every variety. We talk polyamory and swinging, monogamish and open relationships; from dirty, dirty sex to heartbreak. We share our personal experiences and philosophy, observations and theories, what works for us...and where we messed it right up.
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Now displaying: 2019
Nov 2, 2019

Accountability and Consent can feel like the least fun topics to discuss when it comes to sexy lifestyles but when we really focus on building these factors in a way that lets go of the definitions used by the justice system and focuses on the subjective experiences of the parties, our kink and sexytimes can be much more fun.

In an era of social media call-outs, it might feel risky to take part in activities where consent factors strongly, which means quality negotiations and being accountable to the consent rules of others (as well as our own) are more important than ever.

Today Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk to Victor Salmon, an educator and host of Intimate Interactions Podcast who has created the VOICES framework for Best Practices of Consent. Victor will help guide us through some of the ways we can make our consent negotiations lead to "high quality" consent so our playtimes can be great for everyone involved.

@intimateVictor on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook

Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers.

Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible Itunes

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more

Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod

Sep 30, 2019

It's always a bummer when dates don't go as planned or don't happen at all. There can be all kinds of reasons why things don't turn out as you'd hoped from unrealistic expectations, lack of connection, poor communication, uncooperative bodies, life circumstances, or just plain not being in the mood.

Bouncing back from a disappointing date is an important skill in non-monogamous dating. More dates definitely makes for more opportunities for disappointment so we need to get comfortable learning from these experiences and figuring out how to have things go better the next time.

I'm Kat Stark, and on this Episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and I will be discussing Disappointing Dates. We'll share some of our own experiences and what we did to get back into the swing of things after some less than ideal experiences.

Buy Kat Stark's new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers.

Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible Itunes

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more

Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod

 

Aug 19, 2019

It's no secret that On The Wet Coast, we love our sex toys. Using those toys for strap-on sex is one of our favourite ways to engage with partners, or watch our partners engage with others. Though in some ways it is as simple as popping a dildo in a harness and getting to work, strap-on sex tends to be a bit more nuanced than we expect when starting out.

Finding the right equipment, the right harness and dildo combinations can be more challenging than we expect, especially since what is right for one partner or act isn't so right for another. And positioning yourself as the thruster as well as finding the right position for your receiver can be incredibly awkward, especially at first.

I'm Kat Stark, and on this Episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and I are discussing Strapping It On. We've got lots of tips and suggestions to help you get up and thrusting and feeling like the sexual rock stars you are.

Find out more about the gear we mention (and links to purchase) in this episode on our website - onthewetcoast.com.

Buy Kat Stark's brand new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers.

Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible Itunes

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more

Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod

 

Jul 29, 2019

We're always told that confidence is sexy, but how do we find the confidence to be our true sexual selves? How do we embrace our bodies and our kinks so we can enjoy the kinds of sex we desire?

Finding the confidence in ourselves while living in a society that is all about tearing us down is incredibly challenging. Figuring out how to put ourselves out there as confident sexual beings is a lot more difficult than simply deciding to do so.

Learning to get comfortable with awkwardness is one of the keys to sexual confidence, another is knowing that just about everyone else out there feels the same way as you do. Learning to shake off negative body thoughts and embrace the things that you bring to the table can help. Listening to tips from the smartie we're talking to today is another great way to build that confidence. 

On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark and Flick Morrison discuss sexual confidence with the extremely fabulous Luna Matatas.

Find Luna on Twitter, LunaMatatas.com, Youtube, and Etsy

Buy Kat Stark's brand new novel, Waking Up Polyamorous, in paperback or ebook at amazon and other online retailers.

Kat's saucy memoir Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is available at your favourite online book source in paperback, ebook, and audiobook - Amazon, Audible Itunes

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more

Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

Waking Up Polyamorous music - AcidJazz by Kevin_MacLeod

 

Jun 23, 2019

Finding your people can be one of the most important things you do as you make your way in the world, and when you find them, it feels like coming home. Feels like family. Many of us have found a group or groups of people we consider to be family. Chosen family as opposed to biological or family of origin can be essential especially for those of us in alternate lifestyles.

The people we end up sharing our lives and experiences with can be extensive--not just our partners and close friends, but their partners, our former loves, casual sex friends, and fellow pervs and kinksters can make up our chosen family. They’re the people we can truly be ourselves with, maybe for the first time ever.

Much like our families of origin, however, there can be issues within our chosen family. We’re not always going to love the people our people love and may end up spending time with those we wouldn’t choose to on our own. And when relationships end, the devastation and loss can be amplified since we sometimes lose an extended network of people because we’re no longer connected with the partner that was the nexus between us.

On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark are discussing chosen family.

The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Audible and Itunes. 

Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more

Contribute to our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/OnTheWetCoast

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

 

May 12, 2019

Figuring out how to express our interest in someone can be one of the most challenging things in dating, especially if we find them really attractive, fun, or interesting. What do we say? What if they're not into it? Why is it so hard to express ourselves in a fun, clear, non-creepy way?

If what everyone we know reports about themselves is true, no-one is good at flirting. How the hell are any of us hooking up if this is a skill no-one has?

On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark & Flick Morrison are joined by Marcia Baczynski, master of the art of asking for what you want and dedicated flirt who is here to share her humour, wisdom, and creativity in how to navigate the world of flirting.

Find Marcia on Twitter @AskMarciaB & website https://www.askingforwhatyouwant.com//

 

The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Audible and Itunes. 

Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more 

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

 

Apr 14, 2019

Since the passage of FOSTA/SESTA in the US, sexual content on the internet has been progressively quashed, starting with shutting down places sex workers could advertise but flowing forward until Tumblr was all but shuttered when they were no longer allowed to have sexual content.

Various agencies drop the scare words ‘sex trafficking’ and the changes are made under the guise of protecting the vulnerable but has had the opposite effect by forcing many sex workers onto the streets and taking away the resources they used to have to vett and screen clients.

On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick Morrison and Kat Stark chat with Carrie Hill, a sex worker activist and professional dominant (among many other things) who is here to talk to us about Why Sex Work Matters and how the rules and restrictions around sex work will affect your life more and more.

Find Carrie on Twitter @empoweringsex & their website https://empoweringsexuality.ch/

Dominatrix on Trial: Bedford vs Canada - Terri Jean Bedford - Buy on Amazon.ca

Peg The Patriarchy - Luna Matatas - Etsy Shop

The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Audible and Itunes. 

Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more 

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

 

Mar 17, 2019

Our desire for sexual experiences--both solo and with a partner or partners--fluctuates for countless reasons. Stress, fatigue, hormones, depression, body image, and connectivity are just a few of the things that can affect a person’s libido.

Since we live in such a sex negative society talking about negative impacts on libido are considered frivolous since sexuality isn’t considered to be a worthwhile measure of quality of life. It’s also not stressed that we connect and partner with people who share similar libidos to ours since sexual compatibility is a shallow and selfish measure of relationship quality.

Today On The Wet Coast, Kat Stark & Flick Morrison talk about our Libidos, figuring out how they work, working with others to get on the same page desire-wise (or at least same chapter), managing our relationships when our libidos aren’t where we want them to be, and tips to find a way back to our sexy selves.

Get Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are on Amazon

The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Audible and Itunes. 

Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more 

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

 

Feb 9, 2019

If you're lucky, the place where you're living has a thriving sex -positive community and it takes little effort to find and take part in events such as meet-ups, workshops, and conventions. Most likely, that's not the case and either there isn't much of a community or the community that is there doesn't align with your interests, ethics, or outlook.

Sometimes, you've got to step forward and spearhead building that community yourself. It's a bit of a terrifying concept, but it can be done. Today On The Wet Coast, we talk with two people who are doing just that. They've founded the Vancouver Sex Positive Society and are ramping up for the 3rd Annual Converge Con, a conference originated with a desire to build sex positive communities, and start a dialogue around sexuality, relationships, and activism.

Find more on Twitter @VancouverSPS and @ConvergeTweets

Find the bursary application here

The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Audible and Itunes. 

Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more 

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

 

Jan 13, 2019

Consent is a topic that has been an essential part of the non-monogamy experience, though not everyone is great at asking for or respecting it, and some feel like we talk about enthusiastic consent too much. In monogamous dating, it has only recently become a more nuanced discussion than the No Means No message that most of us were taught. After all, talking about our wants and boundaries would kill the mood and ruin the magic flow that is supposed to happen in love scenes.

With the explosion of the MeToo movement that began with Tarana Burke in 2006 and hit the popular media in 2017, consent is being discussed more widely than ever before. What is consent? How do we effectively set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others? Can consent ever be Sexy, as some people propose? On this episode of On The Wet Coast, Flick and I are joined by Erin Tillman, author of the Consent Guidebook: A Practical Approach to Consensual, Respectful, and Enthusiastic Interactions, to talk about, you guessed it, Consent.

Find Erin at thedatingadvicegirl.com and @DatingAdviceGrl

The audiobook version of Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut is now available on Audible and Itunes.

Check out Bex Caputo's great Yes/No/Maybe list 

 

Buy Kat's book Yelling In Pasties: The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut at Amazon.com

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK 

Check out www.onthewetcoast.com for blog posts, toy reviews, and more 

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

 

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere

 

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